NZ Suzuki Journal Summer 1999 – Parents’ Column: Twenty Memos from Your Child

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for—I’m only testing you.
2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it; it makes me feel secure.
3. Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
4. Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It makes me behave stupidly “big.”
5. Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk privately with me.
6. Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.
7. Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
8. Don’t be too upset if I say, “I hate you.” Sometimes it isn’t you but your power to thwart me.
9. Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I want.
10. Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
11. Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That is why I am not always accurate.
12. Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
13. Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
14. Don’t tell me fears are silly. They are terribly real, and you do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
15. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover you are neither.
16. Don’t ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me; an honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you.
17. Don’t forget I love experimenting. I couldn’t get along without it, so please put up with it.
18. Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try.
19. Don’t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you that, do I?
20. Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.

Author unknown (American Suzuki Journal)